Well, Well, Well - Here We Go Again, Volkswagen.“It’s Not A Tumor”

“You said you were safe. You said you care. You said ‘German engineering’. Now you’re just switching off my safety systems and hoping I don’t notice.”

So here’s the story: Volkswagen just recalled 1,482 of its mid-sized SUV Volkswagen Tiguans built between 2024-2025 in Australia because some safety systems might just…deactivate themselves. Without warning. And without telling you.

Yes, the car you bought to feel safe, to transport your kids, to arrive at work in style, might decide “nah, I’ve done enough today” and turn off your Emergency Assist or Travel Assist while you’re driving. Not the kind of surprise you want on the commute.

The Problem in Plain English

• A software bug means if you don’t keep your hands on the wheel long enough, the system (EA / TA) misinterprets the situation and deactivates the safety assist.

• Worse? The instrument cluster might not even warn you. So you think all systems are green, but actually you’re driving blind-safe.

• 1,482 vehicles across Australia. That’s not a typo. That’s a chunk of Tiguan owners.

My god I’m getting PTSD.

Volkswagen, You Promised Better Than This

You know that feeling when you buy a VW and you imagine called “German engineering” and “precision craftsmanship”? This? This feels more like “German software glitch” and it seems all too familiar! It’s like you got the badge, but the brain decided to take a coffee break.

Cars marketed with driver-assist features and automatic safety systems tend to rely on your faith. Faith that the fancy words on the brochure actually do something when needed. And when they flop? The tagline “You said you cared” suddenly plays on loop in your head.

So What Should You Do?

If you’re the proud owner of one of these affected Tiguans:

• Book the free software update ASAP. VW says it’ll fix the issue.

• Don’t assume your safety systems are still “on” just because the lights look okay. If your drive-assist complains or acts weird, treat it like airbags not working.

• Maybe keep a note in the glovebox: “In case of self-deactivation of safety systems, consider manual driving.” Or better yet, keep an angle grinder in the centre console so you can cut a hole in the footwell and Fred Flintstone it.

The Bigger Picture: Isn’t This a Little Embarrassing?

Let’s be real: This kind of recall doesn’t kill a brand overnight, but it does sting. For a company that trades on reliability, build quality and “German engineering”, the moment your vehicles are quietly turning off their own safety features without telling you…it makes you wonder what else might be quietly failing.

What about the systems you don’t know are off? What about the next time you trust the car to brake for you and it says “nah, not my department, big dog”!

The Punch-Line

If you bought this Tiguan to feel safe, and now you’ve got to drive it just like a regular car, guess what? You already paid premium money for substandard behaviour.

So next time someone tells you “German engineering,” maybe ask: “Which software version is that?”

Volkswagen, thanks for the reminder that all the tech in the world won’t save you if the software snoozes on the job. I’ll be over here driving my 2021 Golf…oh wait, no I won’t, sigh*

Some further reading - THE VOLKSWAGEN TIMES - SPECIAL EDITION HEADLINE: THE BOY THAT CRIED WOLFSBURG!